As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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