we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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