how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
