You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This is my gift to your gina
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
