no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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