It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Your penis caused this!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
