okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
