Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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