worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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