Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
