Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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