I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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