with your own penis?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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