how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
