Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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