The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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