Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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