Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
