i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
