Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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