I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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