Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
