His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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