Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
