Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
