Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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