I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
