Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
