I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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