Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
