it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
