whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
