you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
