hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
