i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
