How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
