Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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