I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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