I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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