She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
