what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
