i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
