i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
