dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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