3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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