Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have surprise drugs for everyone
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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