Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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