Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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