Do you still have your period?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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