when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
